Parental Alienation Solutions

To Hope in Darkness

Good morning guys. I wanted to share this with you. I had a following up meeting on Friday with my prior parenting coordinator and my daughter's therapist. They were made aware of their shortcomings a while ago but this was my opportunity to confront them face to face in a sit down.

I was armed with the learening theory knowledge, common sense data and correct language. I did quite well and presented why reunification doesn't work. Apparently they have already made changes to this program ( i don't know.l if true or not ) where they will ensure both parents pass a screening test before taking on cases of alienation.

They admitted to me that succeess is very low with the approach they take.

Anyways I wanted to thank you for giving me the language and ability to use it. They agreed to refund some of the funds spent unnecessarily. Because of this is wanted to contribute what I can back to the program as a token of appreciation.

Thank you,

-Brad

To Hope in Darkness

Though my circumstances haven't changed yet practically, I wanted to send a thanks to you three.

It is hard to grasp when things change in your own inner world. But today I got a grasp of the change that has come about in my own inner process due to educating myself through Hope in Darkness.

It is amounting to positive results in many different dealings in my life, with my father, in business, in my relationships with other artists and with my kids. I feel it is only a matter of time before my ex partners both grasp just how much of an asset I am to them and to our children. When this happens I'm hopeful they will start to share and grow out of causing the kids harm through attachment trauma from relationship interference.

I hope you are all well and the organization is strong and growing. It is a wonderful service you provide to society.

Thank you,

-Monroe

To Hope in Darkness

"I was very fortunate to have found Hope in Darkness earlier this year. I have 5 kids (age 15 to 25) and my three oldest children were alienated from me during my divorce in 2013. Luckily, I had visitation with my two youngest all the way up to the end of 2020. Then my ex‐wife decided to attempt parental alienation on my two youngest. The 2020 Holiday season was horrible. I was unable to see my kids due to my ex‐wife blocking access. I thought I was going to lose them forever. I was in great despair. Then I found Hope in Darkness and began to have conversations regarding a strategy to win my kids back. After many discussions, I gained the confidence to win my two youngest kids back. I am happy to say that with the help of my great mentor, Bill Dubree, I am seeing my two youngest kids on a regular basis now. The lesson that I learned is that I have the power to knock down barriers, and I can do it in a positive way. Dark people like to scheme, and scheming is not for me. Hope in Darkness helped me to learn how to do things the right way. Forever thankful !!!"

Regards,

Patrick C,

To Hope in Darkness

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Its not everything we wanted.. but we got the kids.

LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

Sandra & David

To Hope in Darkness

I just wanted to express to you how grateful I am for all that you have done and are doing for my son Mark. Which extends to me. I've learned so much from you and appreciate the sacrifices you make on my behalf. Thank you for being a way showing and guiding me through this part of life. Every day I'm so grateful for your love. I feel such a connection to you through this similar battle and know that we will conquer this and our children will escape.

Joan H

To Hope in Darkness

Hope in Darkness isn't just about solutions to save our families. It is about our core values, our culture, and—ultimately—our vision for the future. . . . For those considering the remarkable behavioral approach designed by Hope in Darkness, I want to testify to the magnitude of the results you can achieve. The parent training courses are energizing and if you put in the effort , your results will be amazing, in fact, a whole new way to see the world and your kids When I was engaged, I never grew tired, but so inspired it fired up my strategic advantage. I found a "Can Do" Spirit, and reminded everyone that it was the use of the training program that had boosted our ability to deliver a really meaningful way to have the confidence to get our children back. And, in the end, that is the most important thing. Delivering mearingful training to the parents that was honest and not smoke and mirrors and having a greater and more positive impact on the lives of all of parents is what Hope in Darkness is all about. They truly care.

Marianne W

To Hope in Darkness

They said it would take work and effort for me to become competent to recover my son. The program really focused me . ... To stay on track and get results for all the parents—both quality and meticulous attention to the needs of each parent as though my son was their son —you have to have an engaged, highly competent and energized staff. ... When all the parents are engaged, I saw very consistent results.

Sarah T

To Hope in Darkness

The hard work is worth it. Getting to preeminence …. is where I want to be, and I know that the Learning Theory training will help me get there.

Sarah T

To Hope in Darkness

What Hope in Darkness did for me is take what I use and put it in a an compelling framework, so that I could actively move forward to get my kids home. … Everyone in this God Send organization uses the learning theory tools, framework, language. I …deployed the techniques, collected my data, got help with my motion . . . and I did it without stress, supported by a wonderful group of parents in a fun and vigorus way. i'm rolling out learning theory now in my own life helping me raise my kids and making it fun, and it is fun.

Marcie J

To Hope in Darkness

You've challenged me. Stubbornness deep in my bones I vowed time and time again that "there wasn't another way" or "the way of family law attornies is just fine.It was all I knew. I've been liberated" or some iteration of those sentiments. In your remarkably easy way of training, you knew how to push and make me go for it. You always knew I would recover my son...

Mike F

To Hope in Darkness

I wanted to take this opportunity to thank you for helping me to learn the skills to confront the family court. Until I worked with your team, I had all but given up hope. I'll always hold you in the highest regard.

Virginia T

To Hope in Darkness

Thank you all so much.

This life raft for my kids is incredible beyond what words can express.

Margaret H

To Hope in Darkness

I just wanted to reach out collectively and thank you guys. Your work is soooo incredibly important and needed. You have no idea how far down, the trickle effect is having on lives. Your method is fool proof.

I’m seeing a pattern of healing behaviors in all three of my kids, I’ve never seen before. My 20 year old could about run the world with all the balls she’s juggling. We’re emotionally going through a lot, with reteaching my son (18) how to be an adult because he lost so much from the abuse. But I can see the finish line and I couldn’t see it before. So thank you. You definitely don’t hear that enough. From the bottom of my heart, I sincerely mean that.

Along with my three, Madison, Gavin and Olivia. One day we all will meet. Thank you for being you, because you matter.

M

To Hope in Darkness

I discovered Dr William Dubree on FB and he has been an absolute godsend. His method of using behaviours to establish what is going on is simple, yet effective. He has spent considerable time, without charge, working on my case and writing a motion for court. His writing is clear, concise and very easy for anyone to understand the complexities of alienation. It has helped me enormously to have someone look at my situation, understand it and write a motion which the courts too will easily be able to understand.

Thank you Dr Dubree for your hard work for all alienated parents and our kids.

FB

To Hope in Darkness

I was very fortunate to have found Hope in Darkness earlier this year. I have 5 kids (age 15 to 25) and my three oldest children were alienated from me during my divorce in 2013. Luckily, I had visitation with my two youngest all the way up to the end of 2020. Then my ex-wife decided to attempt parental alienation on my two youngest. The 2020 Holiday season was horrible. I was unable to see my kids due to my ex-wife blocking access. I thought I was going to lose them forever. I was in great despair. Then I found Hope in Darkness and began to have conversations regarding a strategy to win my kids back. After many discussions, I gained the confidence to win my two youngest kids back. I am happy to say that with the help of my great mentor, Bill Dubree, I am seeing my two youngest kids on a regular basis now. The lesson that I learned is that I have the power to knock down barriers, and I can do it in a positive way. Dark people like to scheme, and scheming is not for me. Hope in Darkness helped me to learn how to do things the right way.
Forever thankful !!!
Regards,

PC

To Hope in Darkness

Bob's separation started in 2018, sharing three children with his wife Bob started to go his separate way. Bob was thinking and hoping that this would just be a separation and not a divorce. However divorce it was.

After being alienated he used our strategy by indirectly having contact with his daughter, he volunteered to be an assistant track and cross country coach at his daughters track team. At first it took a little warming up too but then things started to go well for the two after being separated for a few years. Hope In Darkness has helped provide support for Bob with his alienation struggels.

Bob

Parental Alienation - Experiences and Cases and Testimonials

Tell Your Story

One of the best ways to expose the horror of Parental Alienation Abuse of our kids is to document this pathology by sharing your experiences with others. Discovery of similar patterns of PA serve a valuable way to describe the pathology as well as enable the pathway to solutions. Let's get a library of your stories and put PA to an end. Also, read the case law that defies the narratives of many family courts. There simply is no evidence not to support returning an abused child to the target parent.

Parental Alienation - Submitting Your PA Story to this Page

To submit your Story to Hope In Darkness, please visit the Membership Page and Join. The Benefit of submitting your PA experience on this page is available at any level of membership.

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Target Parent Story | Legal Cases Supporting Custody Reversal

Parent Story #2
Email of Targeted Parent Dan ‐April 18, 2021

What I always tried to instill in Ron and Matt was their need to express humanity bearing their souls with compassion and empathy. For years I watched Mathew, from the time of a little boy, always avoid stepping on bugs. He had a gentle spirit that informed him never to harm any living thing. Now he acts towards me with unimaginable cruelty, the opposite of humanity, all taught to him by narcissistic proselytizers who smile on cue, show charm when necessary, have no friends or social life, and are as cold as ice. Their amusement is projecting the hatred and vengeance that fuels their own pathetic souls. Meanwhile they enjoy their weaponized grandsons who enact their torment and emotional torture on me, a loving father and a human being.

False and Malicious Allegations of Sexual Abuse and other evils.

If you have had experience with a sociopathic narcissist, such as a mother or grandmother, who to win their senseless war of hostile domestic abuse against a former spouse are willing to engage in a vicious campaign of false accusations of sexual conduct or abuse of children. Such behavior is a clear demonstration of a total lack of moral conscience and no restraints on their capacity to lie, express cruelty or injure emotionally or otherwise another human being. These people will laugh with you, be charming to you and then, when caught off guard, stab you in the back.

No human is ever prepared for such obnoxious, despicable and ruthless cruelty from another human being, let alone a former extended family. Yet it happens with some frequency in family court contests and is also used to falsely frame a parent to remove custody rights.

Has this ever happened to you?

Parent Story #1
Email from Targeted Parent Papa ‐

My name is Papa and Let me tell you my story.

A woman who goes by the name "Stella" and her daughter, mother of my two sons who goes by the name "Punch", who to protect their identities their last names will not be mentioned, engaged in such behavior with me. When my younger son was in elementary school, and after my divorce, I received an alarming call from my son's school. upon arriving at my son's school, I was immediately confronted by the school principal and informed that stories had been circulated at the school accusing me of being a "pedophile, taking nude showers with my son" and other heinous accusations. Since, from childhood, I have lived a life of extreme modesty and have never considered or been accused of any sexual misconduct in my entire life, I knew there was no evidence to substantiate such obnoxious claims. The first thought that occurred to me was the question of what kind of monster would engage in such behavior and why.

My discussion at the school left the principal with no doubt that the accusations were a vicious prank. I left and thought no more about the incident and for several years never looked back. Unknown to me, a CPS investigation questioned my son and his brother and mother and confirmed that there was no evidence to support the allegations. The investigation was kept a secret from me until years later when I had cause to make a call to CPS.

Knowing the accusations were false, I was always cautious and self-conscious when visiting my son's school, knowing that rumors sometimes never die. I lived with that pain for many years and never thought it would happen again.

When my son was beginning band practice on his first year of high school, an incident occurred where he was accused of violence towards another student, a girl in the band. Not knowing any of the details about the incident, I thought there must surely be a mistake. As far as I knew there was no prior history of my son having any behavioral issues at school. Against that background, I defended my son at his high school, not aware that the school vice-principal had my son's prior records of behavioral transgressions. I was in the dark, totally confused and misled, but my ex-wife with Child Protection Services on her heals to investigate, decided that rather than face the police and CPS she would flee her home quietly at night and remove my son from any threat of investigations. Together they left the State and took up residence in another city, even enrolling my son in another school. Within a month or two after leaving, my son, his older brother and my ex-wife took up residence with their maternal grandparents.

That is when my two sons became victims of alienation tactics child abuse. Under what must have been great pressure, and within a short time, I found myself totally erased from their lives.

To make sense out of this situation, my only option was the courts. And I began investigating. On a hunch, I made a call to CPS and the Police. They had reports of domestic violence filed against my ex-spouse and a history of school related incidents involving my younger son. Included in those reports was the revelation, years later of the perpetrators of the CPS investigation on false claims against me of sexual misconduct. At the same time, a large number of emails were sent to me by a former friend and acquaintance of my son's maternal grandmother, Stella. There were in excess of 38 emails in total. The information revealed an astonishing and deliberate effort by Stella to engage in a vicious attack to demonize and discredit me as a fit father for my son(s). The dots were connected. This was clearly an unhinged, certainly sociopathic, potentially psychopathic monster whose meddling in life was clandestine until this moment.

The source of the sexual accusations that flooded my son's school were no longer a mystery. I had been set up for destruction. Had I known of these emails and CPS reports, as well as the many conferences secretly held at schools between my ex-spouse, my younger son and school officials, I would have intercepted my sons before they ever stepped foot inside the door of the grandparent's house. This was a gift to a toxic home of psychopaths, sociopaths and narcissists of unimaginable evil.

And, yet, their vicious meddling continued at the court hearings on custody issues. My older son, who at age 22, was called to testify against me. Since there had never once been anything but a loving, close and supportive relationship between us, I had no idea why he would be called to testify against me. in 22 years, there was never any confrontations, no violence of any kind, no caustic words, no belittling and not one event that could be construed as remotely abusive. So what could he possibly say?

My older son mounted the witness stand and released a story of me engaging in sexual misconduct. I thought where did this fictitious narrative originate? Given the evidence from his grandmother's email communications, there was no doubt that my son was under some pressure to perform even committing perjury.

His description was even graphic except that it never happened. Through conditioning and other means, was it possible that his memory had been altered? More likely that his grandparents and mother deliberately encouraged him to commit perjury.

This court room tactic may have had some influence or it may not have. Judges are just people.

But, in my possession are the proof of years of conniving thoughts, where a maternal grandmother worked her evil motives even trying to delegate her despicable intentions to other people such as friends. She never wanted to get her hands dirty, instead would actually place at risk of criminal conduct whoever else she could find to convince. Like Dracula, she needed a stooge such as Renfield, to fulfill her despicable tasks.

What is most unforgivable is how shameless these narcissistic monsters are to deliberately use two beautiful and innocent boys to enact their vicious and delusional hatred as an act of violence against me, their dad. Sadly, my two sons, who never once suffered any abuse from me, are thoroughly brain washed, clueless and falsely trusting in the fictitious demonizing narratives of unhinged family members.

And, I actually feel sorry for the mother and grandparents, as such behavior stems from their own miserable existences, trans generationally.

Finally, I have released only two emails of the grandmother to the court and decided not to release many of the other emails which are more compelling. The withheld emails would incriminate the grandmother potentially on criminal charges that would still stand. They are still the family of my sons. Something inside my soul prevents me from taking that last step, but I am tempted.

So, can anyone on this post imagine any situation that could be worse?

If so, I would like to hear your stories. And feel free to share this article, as it is a lesson that should be learned about a dangerous pathology that is infecting many families.

Protect the Child

Case Law Confirming Common Sense Protection of Child Through Immediate Placement with Target Parent

Supporting Evidence From Experts and Family Courts

Harm of custody change to a Teenager is a myth now being challenged by mental health experts and family courts.

In court cases with severe alienation, experts have recommended the remedy of modifying custody so that restoration, where there is no prior evidence of the targeted parental abuse, can take place naturally, simply by bringing parent and child together. See Below:

COURT DECISIONS - REGARDING ALIENATED TEENAGER'S WISHES

"Parental alienation cases are among the most troublesome in divorce court. Those dealing with alienated teenagers are particularly difficult. Judges are often confronted with evidence clearly demonstrating that the alienation is occurring and that the alienated teenager does not want to have contact with the targeted parent.

Often frustrated parents are confronted with judicial decisions that read something like: "This teenager is now of an age where, even if he/she may be too immature to appreciate what is best for him or her, he or she cannot be physically forced to remain where he or she does not want to be."... Recent studies have reported that most children's protests evaporate when reunited with a rejected parent. Instead of appeasing a teenager's demands, the courts can order an intervention to assist children/teens in adjusting to court orders that place them with their rejected parent." Documented findings defy years of failed family court decisions as follows:

‐ "Adolescents comply with many rules and expectations that are often not of their own choosing. Consequently, it is a mistake to assume that teenagers do not benefit from an assertion of authority on the part of the court and their parents. Adolescents need adult guidance, structure and limits as much as, if not more than, younger children do;
‐ Children of any age need to understand that they are not above the law or beyond its reach. It is a dangerous lesson to teach a teenager that they can get their way if they decide they're going to act inappropriately or threaten inappropriate behavior; and
‐ Even though teenagers may have more mature cognitive capacities than younger children, adolescents are still suggestible, are highly vulnerable to external influence, and are highly susceptible to immature judgments and behaviors. These limitations are well known in the fields of adolescent development and neuropsychology, and by parents. These limitations account, in part, for the consensus view of the American Psychological Association that juveniles merit different treatment by the criminal legal system than adults receive."
https://blog.cjamiesonlaw.com/parental‐alienation‐and‐divorce‐alienated‐ teenagers‐wishes/

Excerpts from: Psychology Law at https://psychlaw.net

"Experience shows that environmental changes can be very effective in helping children overcome unreasonable negative attitudes (Clawar &Rivlin, 1991; Dunne & Hedrick, 1994; Gardner 2001a, 2001b; Rand et al., 2005; Warshak, 2010). Experienced clinicians and those reporting on their qualitative research using case studies have reported on the benefits of changing custody or enforced parenting time in severe alienation cases (Clawar & Rivlin, 1991, 2013; Dunne & Hedrick, 1994; Gardner, 2001a; Lampel, 1996; Rand et al., 2005; Warshak, 2010). For example, Clawar and Rivlin (1991) reported improved parent‐child relationships in 400 cases where an increase in the child's contact with the target parent was court ordered. Indeed, when they discussed the effectiveness of changes in living arrangements, Clawar and Rivlin (1991; 2013) reported:" "Children may say, 'I hate her. I'll never speak with her if you make me go see her,' I'll run away,' or 'I'll kill myself if he comes to see me.' However, in some cases, children were told to say these things by the programming and brainwashing parent ‐ It is not uncommon to see these threats disintegrate after court orders change."

"Warshak (2010) argued that when judges make it clear to the children that the court expects them to work on repairing their damaged relationship with the target parent, " ‐that failure is not an option, that refusal to cooperate will not result in a custody award to the favored parent, and that the sooner the children heal their damaged relationship with the rejected parent, the sooner they will have contact with their favored parent" things tend to improve quickly. Today, there is general recognition that a reversal of custody may be warranted in severe cases (Drozd & Olesen, 2009; Gardner, 1998; Johnston & Goldman, 2010; Johnston, Roseby, & Kuehnle, 2009; Sullivan & Kelly, 2001; Warshak, 2010)."

" ‐ The other side of this "stark dilemma" was to transfer custody to the father, who had little contact with the child for over a year. Despite the finding of alienation, Justice Preston refused to award custody to the father due to the Justice's concern that "the immediate effect of that change will be extremely traumatic." Justice Preston wrote:"

"The probable future damage to M. by leaving her in her mother's care must be balanced against the danger to her of forcible removal from the strongest parental connections she has ‐ I conclude that the forcible removal of M. from her mother's and her grandmother's care has a high likelihood of failure, either because M. will psychologically buckle under the enormous strain or because she will successfully resist re‐integration with her father." "In reversing this decision and awarding custody to the father, ‐ Court of Appeal observed:"

"the trial judge wrongly focused on the likely difficulties of a change in custody ‐ which the only evidence on the subject indicates will be short‐ term and not 'devastating' ‐ and failed to give paramountcy to M.'s long-term interests. Instead, damage which is long‐term and almost certain was preferred over what may be a risk, but a risk that seems necessary if M is to have a chance to develop normally in her adolescent years."

"The Court of Appeals carefully explained that:"

“The obligation of the Court to make the order it determines best represents the child's interests cannot be ousted by the insistence of an intransigent parent who is 'blind' to her child's interests … The status quo is so detrimental to M. that a change must be made in this case."

And to further support the argument that Jeffrey's best interests will be served by a change of custody, I cite the following case as precedent.

THE SUPREME COURT OF NEW HAMPSHIRE
Portsmouth Family Division No. 2009-806
IN THE MATTER OF JAMES J. MILLER AND JANET S. TODD

Opinion Issued: March 31, 2011

Vacated the lower court's award of custody to a mother who was found to be alienating her children from their father.

After effectively interfering with the father‐child relationship, the trial court awarded custody to the mother primarily because the children had spent the majority of their lives with her and that is where they feel most comfortable. This is typical in cases where one parent has effectively interfered in the children's relationship with the other parent. The absence of contact establishes a status quo that the court then feels bound to honor in order to spare the children a drastic change in their lives.

The Supreme Court recognized that the father was denied contact with his children for more than two years as a result of unfounded allegations of abuse, and that awarding custody to the mother because of the lack of father‐child contacts, raises a concern that the mother is rewarded for violating court orders.
The court quoted the Vermont Supreme Court: "Although obviously well intended, the court's decision effectively condoned a parent's willful alienation of a child from the other parent. Its ruling sends the unacceptable message that others might, with impunity, engage in similar misconduct. Left undisturbed, the court's decision would nullify the principle that the best interests of the child are furthered through a healthy and loving relationship with both parents."

True Stores of PA Victims and Court Cases

Further Reading - Reversal of Custody and the Law